Formula Oppo: The Who Gives A Fuck Grand Prix of Le Mans

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 06/13/2016 at 19:50 • Filed to: FO

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Formula Oppo is Oppositelock’s waveringly popular fantasy formula one guessing game. This week we travel to an actual fantasy land of ah... who gives a flying fuck? Lets face it folks, there’s only one race that people actually care about this weekend and it’s not this.

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! I was only able to watch the race in abbreviated form today due to NBC’s lousy fucking coverage so what you see in the picture is what happened. Thanks, NBC.

This week the world will be watching Le Mans. But after you’re done with that, you can enjoy F1's newest street circuit. Where you might ask is this race? Why it’s in Azerbaijan:

A country that you know so little about that you didn’t even notice that ^this^ isn’t even Azerbaijan. This is Azerbaijan:

And yes, despite the fact that it is clearly in the Mideast, Azerbaijan is hosting the EUROPEAN GRAND PRIX! Holy shit-balls, FIA, you fucks let this happen because Bernie controls you with his tiny little troll hands. Oh well, it’s supposed to be a fast cluster-fuck of a race regardless.

Your drivers this race:

Mercedes:

Lewis Hamilton

Nico Rosberg

Ferrari:

Sebastian Vettel

Kimi Raikkonen

Red Bull TAG-Heuer:

Daniel Ricciardo

Daniil Kvyat Max Verstappen

Williams:

Valtteri Bottas

Felipe Massa

McLaren-Honda:

Fernando Alonso Stoffel Vandoorne

Jenson Button

Force India:

Nico Hulkenberg

Sergio Perez

Toro Rosso:

Max Verstappen Daniil Kvyat

Carlos Sainz

Renault:

Kevin Magnussen

Jolyon Palmer

Sauber:

Marcus Ericsson

Felipe Nasr

Manor:

Pascal Wehrlein

Rio Hartyanto

Haas:

Romain Grosjean

Esteban Gutierrez

My picks for this round?

Q: Lewis Hamilton

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Curse: One of the Toyota’s will get AF Corse’d out of the race.

Good luck?

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 19:56

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You should be able to watch the race replay on demand on nbc live extra on your PC or other device. I have used my Roku to watch them on my TV if I’m not able to catch it live.

Anywho my picks for the who cares that it isn’t technically in “Europe” European Grand Prix in Azurbwherever that is.

Q. Hamilton

1. Hamilton

2. Vettel

3. Riccardo.

Curse: None, not going to gamble against Nico taking out Lewis.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:06

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Azerbaijan is Eurasian. It’s on both continents and is a member state of the council of Europe with on-and-off again plans to join the EU. Do a little research next time man.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard 06/13/2016 at 20:09

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So what about Turkey?

Alfalfa > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:16

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That circuit looks kind of like an oven mitt swinging a meat cleaver.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Alfalfa 06/13/2016 at 20:18

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Michigan strikes back!

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:24

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Turkey is also Eurasian. Formerly member of the EEC , currently a member of the EUCU currently in talks to join the EU.

Malanga > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:28

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Heh. I saw that pic of Azerbaijan and my brain immediately said “that’s not Azerbaijan!” So I took google earth screenshots and typed up a comment to tell you that, but luckily I decided to read the rest of the post. It's a stupid race anyhow, just so that Bernies pockets can get a little bit beefier.

Malanga > Malanga 06/13/2016 at 20:30

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Plus, I think you mean Honda in that last sentence!

Nimbus The Legend - Riding on air like a cloud > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:35

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meh, not really interested...

it will be a merc at the top and a ferrari and redbull fighting for the next open podium spots unless the do some bone head strategy things again and then a williams or force india will sneak in... everyone else is just traffic...

LeMans !

jvirgs drives a Subaru > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 20:40

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Q: HAM

1: HAM

2: ROS

3: VET

71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:08

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Q: Lewis Hamilton

1. Lewis Hamilton

2.Sebastian Vettel

3. Nico Rosberg

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:08

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My picks:

1. #5 Toyota TS050

2. #7 Audi R18

3. #1 Porsche 919

4. #13 Rebellion R-One

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:30

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Q ham

1 ham

2 ric

3 vet

C. One of each LMP1-H will get AF Corsa’d

Alfalfa > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:43

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Don’t fuck with Detroit. Damn Euros.

Wheelerguy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:46

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Loïc Duval on pole, but Mark Webber will nail this (at long last). Lotterer second, Buemi third. At least one Ford will eat it.

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 21:53

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Q: Hamilton

1. Vettel

2. Hamilton

3. Verstappen

Stef Schrader > Alfalfa 06/13/2016 at 22:30

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I called it a dong. A very poorly drawn dong.

Stef Schrader > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 22:33

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1. The end of Le Mans

2. HAHAHAHA

3. HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHA

Curse: Bernie, because there’s no way on earth I even want to bother watching. You think I’m going to switch off the end of Le Mans for some dictator’s travesty of a vanity race? Eat turds.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 22:44

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Q: Lewis Hamilton

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Hot Takes Salesman > Phyrxes once again has a wagon! 06/13/2016 at 22:55

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Chalk those up as my picks.

Sam > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/13/2016 at 23:11

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What F1 race? There isn’t a race this weekend.

Maybe there will be an armed revolution during the race. That would be fun.

SOCdriver > Stef Schrader 06/14/2016 at 04:21

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This is the best answer, unfortunately my love for all things F1 means I will feel oddly compelled to watch. For I am ashamed of myself.

SOCdriver > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/14/2016 at 04:25

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You get a star for the use of an AFI song, those guys fucking rock in small venues. Also club Deseo is a cool club venue for small shows.

As for my picks

Q: Hamilton

1. Nico

2. Vettel

3. Verstappen

Curse: Me for actually watching this race live like an asshole. This is a horrible idea for a place to race and only happening because the local dictator is using money he should be feeding and schooling kids with on it.

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/14/2016 at 08:36

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Q. Ham

1. Ham

2. Vet

3. Ros

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > Santiago of Escuderia Boricua 06/14/2016 at 08:38

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The worst part is, I won’t be watching either race! I’m volunteering at the Magnum Opus rally this weekend

StingrayJake > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/14/2016 at 12:45

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Q. Hamilton

1. Hamilton

2. Vettel

3. Verstappen

Viggen > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/14/2016 at 13:45

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Q. #2 919

1. #1 919
2. #5 TS050
3. #2 919

Curse: Ford

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 06/14/2016 at 22:08

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closest i can come to a relevant song

Hoccy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/16/2016 at 09:20

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Q: Rosberg

1. Rosberg

2. Vettel

3. Kimi

C: Hamilton

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/17/2016 at 15:41

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Q HAM

1 HAM

2 ROS

3 BOT

jariten1781 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/17/2016 at 18:38

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Q Ham

1. Ham

2 Ros

3 vet

pirates-ecu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/18/2016 at 01:28

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q. hamilton.
1. hamilton

2. rosberg

3. Max Verstappen

Gated Manual > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/18/2016 at 01:54

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q. ham

1. ham

2. ros

3. per

sonicgabe > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/18/2016 at 05:28

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Q: Lewis

1: Lewis

2: Nico

3: Bottas

Curse: No one because Bowser will be out to get everyone when they drive by his castle.

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/18/2016 at 06:18

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I really hope the removable asphalt doesn’t harm the cobble stones as the organizers claim. Also, is the castle little too close to the barrier? Me thinks it might be. Anyways here are the picks:

Q. Hamilton

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

To add some Le Mans commentary I hope the Risi Competizione Ferrari of Fisichella/Vilander/Mulucelli does well.